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Post by Charlotte on Aug 17, 2006 21:59:48 GMT -5
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN TEXAS
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant-sized dog dishes next to the boots and
magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition.
Back in about an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the
mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took
part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways, I locked
all four of 'em in the house. Better wait in your truck till I get back."
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Post by crazyTKDsquirrel on Aug 17, 2006 22:07:18 GMT -5
Good one ;D
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Post by Richard E on Aug 22, 2006 20:58:36 GMT -5
ok, that was really funny!
-Richard E.
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Post by crazyTKDsquirrel on Aug 22, 2006 23:45:15 GMT -5
One of my favorites from KFC (posted by ChargerTom):
The various armed forces have very specific mission capabilities and they adjust their rules of engagement accordingly. Below is a short list of the battle tactics and rules of engagement for the separate services.
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US Marine Corp Rules for Gunfights
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral / diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win; The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years, nobody will remember the caliber, stance, or tactics. They will remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating.
Navy SEALS Rules For Gunfights
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.
US Army Rangers Rules For Gunfights
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound backpack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound backpack while starving.
Army Rules For Gunfights
1. Select a new beret to wear
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear
US Air Force Rules For Gunfights
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Do a Google search to determine "what is a gunfight".
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DoD; defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Ask the Navy to send the Marines.
US Navy Rules For Gunfights
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch "adult entertainment" flicks.
4. Send the Marines.
US Coast Guard Rules For Gunfights
1. Gunfights? You're kidding, right?
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woody
New Member
Posts: 28
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Post by woody on Aug 30, 2006 18:20:03 GMT -5
SEMPER FI!!!
Woody
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